I am getting a bit manic. I am moving to the new place some time this or next week. I am getting the new place painted and cleaned. I also have to get all my mental health stuff done, my Nannie just died, and I have to clean and pack my current place. It is a fuck ton of shit at once. Instead of getting crippling panic attacks I am getting manic. I can’t physically stop myself from packing, cleaning, painting, ect.. Mom keeps telling me to take breaks and stop. I get over heated and dehydrated. I don’t eat, drink, pee. I don’t notice I am hungry, need to pee or thirsty. All I feel is an uncontrollable urge to keep working.

I get the anxiety sweats and am burning up from the inside out. I keep falling and bumping into things. I also can’t wear my glasses because I am so sweaty they just fall off my face. I can’t not go and fix up my own house that my parents are giving me half for an apartment for me. So I am going manic. Mom doesn’t understand what that means so she always gets me to go. I shouldn’t be doing it, but I can’t stop. If I tell her then she will make me stop. She made me take days off over the last two weeks because I am clearly a different type of mentally unwell. She doesn’t know what it is from though or why.

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