My social worker keeps telling me that I am just having big feelings and doesn’t think I am actually suicidal. I told her I am not going to kill myself just to prove her wrong. I tell her all the time I am suicidal. I just don’t go into details. I have told her I am suicidal since I started going to her. She thinks I throw terms around all willy nilly. She doesn’t believe I have manic episodes. She calls them ‘What you call your manic episodes’ and tells me not to self diagnose. I asked my psychologist. I told her I was diagnosed with stress induced manic episodes and hallucinations. She still thinks I am just saying I have it and not actually have them. Why the hell would I lie or want to say I have them? Also maybe if she actually asked for updates from my doctor’s she would know. I signed forms saying they can share and ask for information when ever they need to. If I am going to get better they need to all talk and be in the same page. My social worker doesn’t care that I self harm. I mean I just destroy my mouth by bitting large hunks out, but it isn’t still bloody and self harm. Yet she forgets I do it and acts surprise every time I remind her.

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