Why does no one think I am actually suicidal, when I say I am? I have to go into detail and tell them my plans. I am horribly ill and have been for almost 2 yrs. Of course I don’t want to live and I want to kill myself. I am depressed and anxious. I am heavily medicated at all times. At best I am able to tolerate life. When I say suicidal I mean I am trying not to act upon the constant urge to die. I told my new social worker I was suicidal and refused to do the exercise that is making my anxiety worse and making me suicidal. She told me I was just having ‘big feelings ‘ and ‘avoiding anxiety’. Then when I went into detail how bad I was getting. She started writing like a mo’fo and told me I never said I felt like that before. When I corrected her and said I definitely told her I was suicidal before. I told her last session. She said I didn’t go into detail. I am pretty sure suicidal is a term I can use instead of going into the nitty gritty details.

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2 thoughts on “Isn’t that what suicidal means?

    1. I know if I stop going and do what I can then I will be able to tolerate life. It is annoying to be told I am not suicidal because I am not being listened to. She doesn’t understand how bad it is or she wouldn’t be how she is and trying to push me towards destruction.

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