I don’t get how hard it is for people to grasp that I am never alright anymore. I can’t go anywhere alone and people get surprised when I make them go into places with me instead of them waiting in the car. I make comments like ‘What do you think I am? Healthy?’ I try to act like I do when healthy, but it is impossible. Some times people think I try to hide my mental illness. I am too exhausted from trying to get better while actively trying not to die. When I seem alright, I am not. I am trying to make myself feel better and am heavily medicated. I want to just stay in my apartment with my babies. I know that isn’t healthy so I force myself to do things I don’t want to.