I just learned that manic episodes can be happy, or not a negative emotion. I know that is dumb now, but I have been spending my time learning about my disease and how I can get better. Being manic is not a side effect of anxiety. I always talked to other people with anxiety about these what I call ‘OCD kicks’. It isn’t anxiety OCD it sounds like a manic episode.
The fucked up part is I didn’t figure this out with a mental health professional. I learned it from my from who has a bi-polar friend and was telling me a story about one of her manic episodes. I asked questions and then did some research. Mind you I am not usually smart. My anxiety gives me mush mind. I feel as if they would just evaluate me I would know what is wrong! How can I know how to get better if I don’t know what the hell I have? Or don’t know what to call things. I don’t know what is normal either, so I don’t know what to tell them is off. I thought hallucinations were something everyone had….
I have been requesting an evaluation since I went out of work (July 2016), as I have never actually been evaluated. My family dr said I had anxiety when I was referred to my psychologist. He was like ‘cool ‘ and since I was was clearly anxious and depressed he just went with that. He legally can’t help me more than medication now that the consulting part has long past. But them damn free clinic can! I fear I going to rage out on them my next visit. I honestly don’t care if I rip them a new one except that it will give me a crippling panic attack. I always have one after a rage.