I am so confused as to why people think once I get everything sorted out with getting the rights and resources I need I will start to heal. I kept being told not to feel bad about having a good day or not do something because I think it will harm my disability claim. I wish I had days like that! I wasn’t worried about disability because I am that anxious. I know I will get what I need because I won’t stop until either I get the help or I die from the disease. I have a chemical imbalance along with who knows what else. Our health care is free to an extent. It doesn’t favor the mentally ill at ALL.
I don’t understand why I am constantly telling people how bad I am and they don’t seem to get it. No one except for my family dr has seen me be me. They think the quiet shell of a human is me having a good day because I am not uncontrollably crying. I keep being asked what is wrong with me by people who know me well. They know what is wrong with me the answer is always anxiety.
I keep being told that if I kill myself my mother would never get over it. What kind of head fuck is that? It isn’t my mom saying it, but mental health professionals who have never met my mother. Apparently no one cares if my father and sister would be upset.