My family doesn’t tell me when some one is sick or in the hospital until they are back to being healthy. They don’t want to upset me more than I already am and know I have a hard time as it is. This makes things worse though. I am constantly worried that they aren’t telling me someone is ill.
   I was playing with my dad over Xbox live yesterday when my aunt called my parents. My parents like to use speaker phone so they both can talk to you at once, which I don’t mind. So my aunt called to tell my parents my Nannie is in the hospital because her brain was randomly bleeding. They don’t know why it was bleeding but they got it to stop and are keeping her in the hospital and watching her like a hawk. I heard everything because dad didn’t mute his Xbox set. What is weird is that I didn’t have a panic attack over it. If it is Mom, dad, my babies, or my sister I freak the hell out. Even when healthy.
        Nannie is 91 and has told me that she doesn’t want to live an other 10 yrs. It could be I was just so exhusted from anxiety and numb that I won’t process it for a few days. I cried and am teary writing this. I want her better and home safe. We have all been soaking in every moment we can with her for the past few years, just because we know she is getting up there and she won’t last forever. 

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