I always make people text me when they get home from my place. I worry about them getting home safely, especially if walking at night. I often forget then males are less likely to be raped. They still can be, it is just a 1 in 6 chance instead of a 1 in four, like for females. It is repulsive that it still happens so often and the authorities really don’t care. No, means no. Attacking someone is illegal last time I checked. I have a hard time not getting myself fired up about this. I need to keep my rage and thoughts on fighting just to stay alive and demanding the help I deserve.

         It is hard not to allow yourself to slip into the hellscape of torment the mind can bring. It turns that rage into fear. I need that fire in my soul to push through. Lucky the lack of support for those with a mental health disability also pushes my rage button. Lites a fire in my soul which then scratches, yells, and does anything to try to get better.  For my essence and soul are not sick. Just my mind. It fools me into thinking it is other things, but I am on to you anxiety. Honestly if I die it is from the lack of getting resources and help that if I was on welfare or physically disabled I would get. I keep telling myself when healthy I am going to go on an education Ramage and try to shed light on this subject. It is almost impossible to change the system when you can barely convince yourself to live. There is no ‘if’ I get healthy it is ‘when’. 

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8 thoughts on “I forget

    1. In my province unless I have coverage or can pay I don’t get real one on one therapy. I only would get emergency help if I say I have a suicide plan and give it in great detail and am honestly going to kill myself… At that point it is too late. I am not going to seek help. I am going to just kill myself. Makes me so mad. 🙀

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