My therapist put me on four tranquilizers a day with my normal adavan and my normal dose of anti-depressants to take every day when I first saw him (Also got a night time cocktail of pills.) Then after I started sleeping at night he took away my day tranquilizers and left me with my night one. Now I understand that it isn’t good to have that many for a long period of time, but he didn’t replace it with anything. So life being just bareable went to a very dark scary place. He wouldn’t give me a prescription for medical Marijuana. He said I could do it if I wanted to but he wouldn’t help me. He is old school and doesn’t believe certain strains are actually helpful. I begged him for something to help me get through the endless torment during the days. I was denied… So what does Jenny do? She goes to her family doctor tells her that the therapist said no, but I am desperate. I said I can’t illegaly do it as my anxiety prevents it! She said I more than met the requirement for a prescription and if I am willing to try a more natural route I was allowed. She gave it to me and off I went.
I take it like I did the tranquilizers and it has made life bareable. I was not going to last long how it was before. I learned very quick that I needed a specific type because even if mixed with an other strain I get super paranoid and anxious. So I have unlimited of this certain strain in a gummy form. I get it because it is actually my medication and the gummies are small and easiest for me. Because I am paranoid I like to have a few back up incase they run out, which has happened several times. It doesn’t matter when they run out because I have my reserve.
It annoys me for no reason when people say oh you must be knocked out high. No, no I am not. It does not make me feel high. I am that anxious that it just clams me down to the point of being able to bath most days and pick myself up and force myself to be physically healthy no matter how horrible and panic attack giving it turns out to be. It clams me down a bit. The getting confused, not knowing what is going on, and forgetting things all the time happened way before the medical Marijuana. My body is shutting down due to stress. I don’t know why I get annoyed. Who cares if people think I am a pot head? I know I can’t get in trouble because I have prescription and legit need it. It is a compulsion to say it is medical. I think maybe because I am bitter I don’t get fun hilarious carefree feeling they show on TV and how people say I should be on them.
To sum up medical Marijuana helps my anxiety and I am neurotic due to said anxiety.