If one more person asks me why I don’t work from home I may snap and hit them. Whenever I go to get help I am always asked two things. The first is why am I crying. I answer because it is my disability which I am here seeking help for. I have anxiety. The second is well can’t you just work from home? Why the hell would I be there balling my face off, sweating, shaking, and hyperventilating if I could work from home? Being home helps, but it doesn’t make the anxiety go away. I have a panic attack when ever I use the phone. I can’t read 50% of the time due to my brain just forgetting how to deal with my dyslexia. I am on disability. Do they think I am just on it for fun? They make it so hard to get, then when you do get it you have to jump through more hoops because they don’t give you benefits or enough to live off of. I deserve a metal just for keeping myself alive. It is so hard to not just allow the disease to wash over me and drown in it. I will fight with every fiber in my being to be me again. Carefree fun loving Jenny.
You’ve got to feel it, see it, know how much you need it
What’s the point in living if you don’t take a chance?
You’ve got to use it, lose it, know the chance to do it
What’s the point in living if you don’t wanna dance? — Kylie Minogue.