I got my medication that was making me gain weight cut in half. I replaced my icecream with frozen yogurt (which not one told me tastes just like icecream if you get a good brand). Nothing bad goes in my body now. All fresh fruit and vegetables. No potatoes for starch or carbs. Fresh stir fries if not salad. I work out for 40- 60 mins a day. If  I keep forcing myself to stay healthy and keep away from bad foods even as a treat I can keep the medication that makes me sleep and not go mentally insane. So the only thing that has changed is the amount of medication I have been on and on that week I have lost 6 lbs instead of gaining. I was beginning to think I would have to choose either being on something to make me fall asleep and becoming a blob with high cloud pressure, or being anxious 24/7 and never eating at all. This is a victory as I have been trying so hard to be healthy to the point of force feeding myself tiny amounts of food and working out while having panic attacks. It is helping my physical health now instead of being just so I don’t gain more faster.  This is a victory. I just hope I don’t gain it back, but through the week nothing has changed except my medication. Time to mentally have a dance party as I have to same my strength for my cardio later today. It seems like not a big deal, but I have been so nazi like with what I put into my body and how much. Along with the working out. It doesn’t seem like a long work out but when anxious it is sheer torture. My reward is going to be not having to be on blood pressure pills and be a healthy weight. That is what I have been working on for months. Good job me. Keep it up. 


2 thoughts on “Tiny dance party

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