I have no desire to go out and reproduce. I have no idea why people don’t adopt instead of doing fertility injections,  or suragates. I understand it is because they want their own genetics but I don’t get why it matters.  Why go through all that and have the risk of it not working when so many children need homes. It just blows my mind. I respect anyone’s decision I just don’t understand why they need their own DNA,  but I am not them and that is okay. I also don’t get baby fever. Never wanted to have a child a day in my life. I only want only fur babies. I don’t judge people who have flesh babies so I expect them not to judge me for not wanting them. 

I have a phobia of rape. I don’t know if it is because my grandmother let my sister and I watch grossly inappropriate TV shows about rapists and murderes as children or if it is an anxiety thing. I don’t like most straight males as I find them know it all and pompous.  No means no and they don’t like it I have been asked ‘why haven’t we hooked up ?’ By friends of friends. My answer is the same. ‘ because I don’t want to’. Not all straight men are like this there are good ones and I have a few good straight male friends. It seems the jerks always dominate conversation and attention though. I didn’t realize I was men where hitting on me because they were being assholes. Who ever started negging is an idiot. Belittling me isn’t going to make me want to talk to you. It makes me want to punch you in your shit eating grin. I am an ass and will call them out asking if they are trying to hit on me. When they say yes, because I make sure they are first. I call them out asking why anyone would be flattered by being belittled. I have the body language of a shy insecure person,  but it is my anxious ticks and have self esteem for days.  I am not Sexy, beautiful, pretty, but I am adorable and kind. I will not put up with a stranger insulting me because they want a one night stand with someone with low self esteem. They are like sharks circling trying to pick off the weakest in a group. 

I feel uncomfortable when  someone compliments how I look if not about how I style myself or my wardrobe. Being told I am good looking I feel like they are being kind, unless cute is used. I don’t  know if it is an anxiety thing or a Jenny thing. If someone wanted to date me they would have to basically take it super slow and I am not sure I could handle  how uncomfortable it makes me feel. I leave when nice drunk people are hitting on me not because they are creepy but because I don’t  like the feeling and they are drunk and won’t remember. I am very good at telling when people like eachother but horrible at it when it comes to me. It has to be spelled out for me. It is just something I am like meh. If it happens it happens if not I am happy either way.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s