I try so hard to stay healthy. I don’t want diabetes, which runs in my family and doesn’t arrive until after 40. I don’t want to die of a heart attack. I force myself to work out every day no matter how bad the anxiety or depression is. I can not lose weight for the life of me. I just keep on gaining due to my medication. I don’t ever want to be slim and trim. I like my curves and don’t mind being larger. My ideal body type is  Jennifer Tilly ‘s. Body be bangin’. I am cute not Sexy like she is but I do wear 90% pin up clothing. It fits my hour glass body type the best and I love it. I just wish I had control of my own weight. Chubby is cute, as I believe that chubby is absolutely adorable. It is a cute word to describe adorable people with a little extra weight that is nice on them. I do not however want to turn into a gelatinous blob of a person. There is not enough yoga, cardio, and eating right to save me. True some days I get upset at it and give up and eat half a cake. But that is like once a month the rest is healthy homemade meals, with veggies. Fruits and nuts for snacks. Ugh. 

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