I have stopped talking to people more than I have to when out and about. It takes everything I have to leave the house and that is with someone. Some days are better than others where with all my medication I can go out with someone and talk to clerks and be fine. Other days I am either crying or just have an emotionless face and will speak very little. I won’t even pretend to laugh or allow small talk. I flat out just don’t reply. Not because I am rude or am annoyed, but because I am clearly not well. I don’t have the energy to speak or the will to. I really don’t care if I make them feel uncomfortable. I clearly look like someone with anxiety so if I have to deal with this interaction then they do too. Also they get paid to deal with a queit or crying girl  I don’t get paid to be there. I am there because I have to or I wouldn’t. 

People at the bus stop also like to chat and more them, than clerks at stores I don’t answer. I find people at stores can normally read the situation, but not the bus people. I take out my ear buds to hear the first request of a bus stop person. If they want the time I will tell them but other than a legit question (because these are not bus people just people who take public transportation) I ignore them. I answer the first time but then just ignore no matter what I feel like. If I am crying I don’t need them to tell me to smile or chat about the weather. What about someone looking at the ground crying while petting a cat in carrier that looks like a purse. What about my closed off anxious body language makes them think I want to chit chat?


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